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As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is. So, without any further ado, let’s pull out another word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

Lanyard:

Definition: A Lanyard is a line that is attached between an individual and an anchor.

Word Origin: This word sounds exotic, eh? Webster’s defines a lanyard as a cord with a hook at one end used to fire a cannon… I don’t think that’s right. I guess a lanyard in fall protection is a cord too. Although, I’ve got to be honest, the term “lanyard” reminds me of some sort of sweaty spandex that’s been peeled off of a male ballet dancer. It might be a part of the unitard family. Who knows? I’ve also heard it called a “Manyard.” Uh… that sounds pretty lame, and homogenized (Not that there’s anything wrong with that). I don’t think anyone knows where this name might have come from, except for maybe some smart guy. I can only suspect that it came from the ancient Hopi Tribe word, “Ug Lug,” which means “male tail.”

Analysis: When people think about a lanyard most people think about “That Thing” that connects to “The Thing” and “The Other Thing.” That’s exactly what a lanyard is, but let me get a little more specific if I may. “That Thing” refers to the cable, cord, rope, or webbing this makes up the lanyard. I’ve seen them made with just about everything, except for lace. Although lace can provide hours of entertainment, it in no way can support a human body in case of a fall. It may support infants, but an I Beam, thirty feet above the ground is no place for a baby.

“The Thing” refers to the D-Ring on the Harness being worn by the worker and “The Other Thing” refers to the anchor point that the lanyard would be connected to. Some of you are correct in your observation that the concept of a lanyard is very remedial. It is. The problem occurs when you’re presented with the eight million styles, attachments, do-hickeys, bells, and whistles you can buy on them. I think my head almost exploded.

This can be very expansive, so I will only briefly touch on the various options out there. One can buy a lanyard with single, double, triple, and rebar hooks. Surprisingly, ornament, coat, and captain hooks aren’t available yet. Another set of variations are the shock and non-shock absorbing lanyards. I’d like to think that this refers to the amount of insults a lanyard can take, but that’s not the case. You can get stretch lanyards, which are just like stretch pants. You can pull for days and they won’t come off. They even have internal shock lanyards that keep all of their emotions bottled up inside. Lanyards are even available in single and double leg, and some are merely for positioning. I’m not even going to go into a soft pack lanyard. To those of you who thought that was a joke, it wasn’t. As you can see, the options are endless. We’ll dive into them individually later.

Disclaimer: This post must make you aware if your thing can hold up to 400 lbs., you probably have a pretty strong thing; especially if you have a Heavy Duty thing. Your co-workers may be jealous.

Similar Terms:
The Manyard
The Spaniard
The Man Strand
The Expander Man Handler (only kidding!)

Word Associations:
Lanyard: Isn’t that what you try and throw your Lawn Darts into?
Lanyard: Didn’t Mr. T wear a bunch of gold lanyards?
Lanyard: I’m pretty positive that’s a fear of flying, and boating actually. Some people are lanyards. John Madden is a lanyard.

So, there you have it. This word is used throughout the business, and is a great staple of fall protection. Even though we’ve got miles to go, I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Lanyard, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word. Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Technorati Tags: fall protection, safety lanyard, shock lanyards

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As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is. So, without any further ado, let’s pull out another word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

Retractable:

Definition: A Retractable is hands free lifeline that stays taut, allowing workers to freely move about.

Word Origin: This word is almost a literal translation of what this piece of equipment does. Webster’s defines a retractable as… ugh who cares… it means to take back. That’s exactly what a retractable does. Figuratively though, a retractable is a misplaced phrase that you wish you hadn’t said; such as telling your mother-in-law that her coleslaw tasted like newspaper clippings, or responding to your wife with any answer after she asks if she looks fat in a dress. I would say that whoever came up with this name did not think outside of the box, and we’re probably lucky it’s not called a “cableus retractus.”

Analysis: A retractable is a generic phrase, like I love you. They might as well come in a yellow box with black lettering that reads, “retractable.” The machinery is basically a cable or a line housed in an aluminum frame. A worker will attach the retractable to an anchor point and attach the other end to the D-Ring on their harness. As the worker moves the cable will pull out gradually, allowing the worker to move freely with out getting tripped up by a dragging lanyard. In the event of a fall, a retractable will stop letting out cable and suspend the worker with a breaking system. Unfortunately, they have yet to release a retractable with anti-lock breaks, so watch out for hydroplaning.

That’s about it on a retractable. However, there are some different options out there, like boxers and briefs. Regretfully, I am still unaware of a retractable that exposes as much personal information as a pair of briefs. Retractables come with either cable lines or web lines. Cable lines are basically long ropes of stainless steel cable, and no matter how hard your try; it will never pick up C-SPAN. A web retractable looks like huge roll of seatbelt. Keep in mind that a seatbelt of this size could only be used to buckle a morbidly obese individual to the bow of a cruise ship, in case of an accident.

Retractables also come in a wide variety of lengths. Some say the average American retractable is 6 inches, but I’m not buying it. The smallest I’ve seen was approximately 8 feet long, and some are as big as 100 feet. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of retractables in my day. If you have a 6-foot retractable, that’s ok, there’s nothing to be ashamed about. A swivel top can also come in handy too, but I’m not going to get into that right now.

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you should take your retractable in for an extension. It is a very costly procedure, and often destroys the retractable.

Similar Terms:
The Regrettable
The Forgettable
The Backside Tugger
The Cable Hider (only kidding!)

Word Associations:
Retractable: That cold is getting bad, huh?
Retractable: When some one is so unattractive that the best advice you can give them is to take themselves back out the door. Those people are retractable.
Retractable: Isn’t that when someone gives you back the exact same tractor you gave him or her for Christmas last year?

So, there you have it. This word is used throughout the business, and is a great staple of fall protection. I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Retractable, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word. Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Technorati Tags: fall protection, self retracting lanyard, srl

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As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is. So, with out any further ado, let’s pull out the first word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

The Beamer 2000:

Definition: The Beamer 2000 is an anchorage point for I and H beams; used on the top or bottom of said beams.

Word Origin: The name is actually trademarked by Guardian Fall Protection, so that’s a plus. The terminology also creates quite a commotion, but is often misinterpreted. (Many men will be disappointed to learn that The Beamer 2000 is NOT a pill to alleviate certain problems of the male persuasion.) The name is sleek, but at the same time it does nothing to hint or explain its meaning. It could be worse….”The Erector Connector.”

Analysis: The product is ingenious actually, and there are several different versions on the market, that often share different features, and not all of them contain a trademark name. Some of these anchors move with the worker and some do not. In addition, none of the beamers know how to slow dance.

The Beamer 2000 is constructed of precious metals (Aluminum), and therefore attracts no welding splatter. Unfortunately, it does not protect against jelly splatter, so you’ll have to keep John and his sandwich away from your anchor during the lunch break.

Another cool feature of the Beamer 2000 is the complete lack of tools needed to tighten the anchor to the appropriate beam. This can come in handy when a co-worker has stolen your tools. Now, you can free yourself and give him the beating he’s entitled to. Oh, and I almost forgot; it’s an anchor so it’s going to hold you up there in case you fall, provided you’re wearing a harness.

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you need any sort of help getting up on the jobsite. I simply assume that once you get up, you’d want to stay up.

Similar Terms:
Beam Clamp
Beam Trolley
Fixed Anchor
The Reamer 3000 (only kidding!)

Word Associations:
The Beamer 2000: I thought the Star Trek convention was last week?
The Beamer 2000: NASA’s got a new ship?
The Beamer 2000: Finally, an updated version of my favorite TV show, “Leave It To Beamer!”

So, there you have it. It turns out that this word is an interesting approach to a very useful product. I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Beamer 2000, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word. Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You’ll never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Technorati Tags: anchor point, beamer 2000, fall protection, steel beam anchor

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When did fall protection become so confusing? I believe it happened when they started putting D-Rings in places other than your dorsal. What? Exactly. This is getting out of control. Most guys don’t have time to break down exactly what a sub-pelvic strap is, and now some manufacturers are even calling their harnesses “universal.”

(Universal works most of the time, except for the time when my uncle Carl bought a baseball hat from Ghost Town, South Dakota. Unfortunately, the hat claimed to be “universal,” but the “one size fits all” failed to expand around his bulbous 25-inch forehead. Apparently one size fits most.)

So, as a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is. So, with out any further ado, let’s pull out the first word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

SUB-PELVIC STRAP:

Definition: It’s a butt strap on a harness.

Word Origin: This term is what we call a fluff term. In other words, some Ad Wizard was probably paid a hefty sum of money to come up with this name. The funny thing is that it probably took him several weeks, and not the several seconds that the name implies.

Analysis: The “sub-pelvic strap” simply supports your hind end. It’s merely a single 2-inch strap and that’s it. I can almost imagine the comfort. The selling point of a butt strap is to take the pressure off of your legs in the event of a fall. It’s a useful tool, but all the same, it doesn’t really provide comfort in while working, as you might assume. So, if you must be in a harness for an extended amount of time and you’re looking for some better support, invest in a harness with some good back support, such a construction harness. That will definitely take the load off as you sit on your duff.

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you have a large posterior. I simply assume that some individuals have more treasure to keep buried.

Similar Terms:
Cradle Seat
Comfort Seat Strap
Tongue to Butt Buckle (only kidding!)

Word Associations:
Sub-Pelvic Strap: What?
Sub-Pelvic Strap: No, I have enough underwear.
Sub-Pelvic Strap: Do roofers really need to wear a jock? What’s next? Community showers?

So, there you have it, the very first term. It turns out that this word is just some stupid word that insults our intelligence. I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Sub-Pelvic Strap, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word. Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You’ll never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Technorati Tags: fall protection, harness strap, safety harness

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