Loading ...Fall Protection Dictionary: Retractable
As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is. So, without any further ado, let’s pull out another word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:
Retractable:
Definition: A Retractable is hands free lifeline that stays taut, allowing workers to freely move about.
Word Origin: This word is almost a literal translation of what this piece of equipment does. Webster’s defines a retractable as… ugh who cares… it means to take back. That’s exactly what a retractable does. Figuratively though, a retractable is a misplaced phrase that you wish you hadn’t said; such as telling your mother-in-law that her coleslaw tasted like newspaper clippings, or responding to your wife with any answer after she asks if she looks fat in a dress. I would say that whoever came up with this name did not think outside of the box, and we’re probably lucky it’s not called a “cableus retractus.”
Analysis: A retractable is a generic phrase, like I love you. They might as well come in a yellow box with black lettering that reads, “retractable.” The machinery is basically a cable or a line housed in an aluminum frame. A worker will attach the retractable to an anchor point and attach the other end to the D-Ring on their harness. As the worker moves the cable will pull out gradually, allowing the worker to move freely with out getting tripped up by a dragging lanyard. In the event of a fall, a retractable will stop letting out cable and suspend the worker with a breaking system. Unfortunately, they have yet to release a retractable with anti-lock breaks, so watch out for hydroplaning.
That’s about it on a retractable. However, there are some different options out there, like boxers and briefs. Regretfully, I am still unaware of a retractable that exposes as much personal information as a pair of briefs. Retractables come with either cable lines or web lines. Cable lines are basically long ropes of stainless steel cable, and no matter how hard your try; it will never pick up C-SPAN. A web retractable looks like huge roll of seatbelt. Keep in mind that a seatbelt of this size could only be used to buckle a morbidly obese individual to the bow of a cruise ship, in case of an accident.
Retractables also come in a wide variety of lengths. Some say the average American retractable is 6 inches, but I’m not buying it. The smallest I’ve seen was approximately 8 feet long, and some are as big as 100 feet. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of retractables in my day. If you have a 6-foot retractable, that’s ok, there’s nothing to be ashamed about. A swivel top can also come in handy too, but I’m not going to get into that right now.
Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you should take your retractable in for an extension. It is a very costly procedure, and often destroys the retractable.
Similar Terms:
The Regrettable
The Forgettable
The Backside Tugger
The Cable Hider (only kidding!)
Word Associations:
Retractable: That cold is getting bad, huh?
Retractable: When some one is so unattractive that the best advice you can give them is to take themselves back out the door. Those people are retractable.
Retractable: Isn’t that when someone gives you back the exact same tractor you gave him or her for Christmas last year?
So, there you have it. This word is used throughout the business, and is a great staple of fall protection. I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Retractable, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word. Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.
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