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As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is. So, with out any further ado, let’s pull out the first word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

The Beamer 2000:

Definition: The Beamer 2000 is an anchorage point for I and H beams; used on the top or bottom of said beams.

Word Origin: The name is actually trademarked by Guardian Fall Protection, so that’s a plus. The terminology also creates quite a commotion, but is often misinterpreted. (Many men will be disappointed to learn that The Beamer 2000 is NOT a pill to alleviate certain problems of the male persuasion.) The name is sleek, but at the same time it does nothing to hint or explain its meaning. It could be worse….”The Erector Connector.”

Analysis: The product is ingenious actually, and there are several different versions on the market, that often share different features, and not all of them contain a trademark name. Some of these anchors move with the worker and some do not. In addition, none of the beamers know how to slow dance.

The Beamer 2000 is constructed of precious metals (Aluminum), and therefore attracts no welding splatter. Unfortunately, it does not protect against jelly splatter, so you’ll have to keep John and his sandwich away from your anchor during the lunch break.

Another cool feature of the Beamer 2000 is the complete lack of tools needed to tighten the anchor to the appropriate beam. This can come in handy when a co-worker has stolen your tools. Now, you can free yourself and give him the beating he’s entitled to. Oh, and I almost forgot; it’s an anchor so it’s going to hold you up there in case you fall, provided you’re wearing a harness.

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you need any sort of help getting up on the jobsite. I simply assume that once you get up, you’d want to stay up.

Similar Terms:
Beam Clamp
Beam Trolley
Fixed Anchor
The Reamer 3000 (only kidding!)

Word Associations:
The Beamer 2000: I thought the Star Trek convention was last week?
The Beamer 2000: NASA’s got a new ship?
The Beamer 2000: Finally, an updated version of my favorite TV show, “Leave It To Beamer!”

So, there you have it. It turns out that this word is an interesting approach to a very useful product. I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Beamer 2000, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word. Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You’ll never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Technorati Tags: anchor point, beamer 2000, fall protection, steel beam anchor

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